I would never ever say its the fault of my husband. Ok, that sounds stupid! My love and my best friend is a hard worker who does everything in his power to give everything to us all! He works an incredible amount of hours, at work and at home. He is never off the clock for his company, and this makes his only spare time barely available for us. Even though he has recently received a raise (which is more fair because of the incredible amount work and responsibility he now has; pretty much running the plant), it still can not seem to help us with our HUGE debt! It causes sleeplessness, ulcer pain, and too much fear! So behind on our house payment (enough to worry about loosing it), behind on my truck payment (let's not forget I still need tires), I still owe support to the state because I had to quit my job! (They wouldn't work with me, I couldn't afford to get child care for our baby and the future of my position was very bleak). My husbands truck was so behind on payments he nearly had it repossessed! I can't afford the little health care as it is and we are SO behind on the doctor bills, I know my credit is total crap. We haven't even been able to pay anything of the bills in my name! Home Depot, us bank visa & the advance, peebles, kohls..... I owe SO MUCH it is always hanging over my head! Lets add that my dishwasher is dying, as is my washing machine, my vaccume, and all the deeded repairs to our home! Especially the black mold from the roof leak we had!
The roof leak really pushed our finances over the cliff as our homeowners ins was going to drop us unless we replaced our roof; thus loosing our mortgage! That was serious money! The husband had to take out an advance, use his paid holiday- but work and more, to pay for that! We had to miss payments on the house and gas co. Got our gas shut off for 2 weeks after the roof was done!
I have budgeted our purchases so small, it's hard to believe I feed a family of 5, and 3 dogs on less than $400 a month! Tho my budget doesn't include what I have to she'll out for my kids to bowl on leagues OR gas in my truck, which is so little it doesn't allow me the ability to visit my father (a half an hours drive away). It bothers me more than I can explain. Since loosing my mother to the same affliction my father has, he is all alone majority of the time. I call him nearly every day but his health is what scares me (I know it's deterriating quickly).
All things said, I still won't change what I have in life. I have 2 wonderful teens who are honor roll kids, I have a beautiful 17 month old baby girl, 3 goofy dogs, a wonderful century home, a newly found family and now my husbands family. I have watched my amazing husband achieve so much in the last couple of years on his own merits (no hs deplomia or college Ed). I have learned to live life to its fullest and I have my love to thank for that! I will never let depression rule my life again and now I so want to achieve more in the help of abused and exploited children. This is a deep passion of mine and I can't wait to be able to do so much more than now!
Just short of being Ellen Degeneres, I can only pray life will allow ME to be able to help others. If nothing, to find happiness like I have!
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